Letter 2
by Big-Apple-Red
Summary: The second part of "Letter". Santana's point of view


**A/N: This is the next part of my first story, Santana's point of view .**

Some people know from the beginning what they want to make of their life, know that they will be married, that they will have children, a big house with a dog which will use the garden as toilet. I did not know, I did not know all this your Honor. I had no dream of future. I just knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a certain blonde.

I have never wanted children. When I was small I have never played with dolls and pretended that I was a mom. When people asked me if I wanted to have children later I answered simply no because it was the case. But when we are in couple, sometimes we have to make efforts.

So when my wife asked me if we could become foster family, I accepted, and only by seeing the sparkle in her eyes, I knew that I had made the good decision. However I did not believe that it will be happening so fast.

We were the perfect candidates, young brides, very stable financially and loving. Exactly what the social services look for.

I remember the day when we received the photo of our daughter. I had leaved the work early this day, and my wife waited for me with an envelope in the brown color. She smiled, she was happy; I believe that I was put under stress and every feelings had left my body. She said nothing; she just showed me the photo.

The days that followed were a little bit strange, I did not know how to do, I did not know what to think. Plus you add the growing fears of being a horrible mother and you have my state of mind. People think, and when I say people I indeed speak of my family, they think that I was a mother the first time I saw my daughter. I can say to you Sir that it was not the case. I felt that I became a mother later, on a completely commonplace afternoon.

We were on duty of food shopping this afternoon there. We walked quietly in the paths of the supermarket, when I saw an old knowledge. We exchanged some small talk as everybody. And at this moment there, she said to me something, something that changed everything I believe. " Is she your daughter? It is crazy as she looks like you. " They are these exact words. I remember having a look at my daughter, just, before agreeing with a nod of my head.

People say that to be parents it is the most beautiful but the hardest job in the world. I could not say the opposite, however I disagree with those who say to you that parents' job cannot being learnt. You can learn to become parent; I learnt to become a parent.

I learnt to give some affection; I learnt to receive affection. I also learnt that children do not know the word "personal space". I became a doctor sometimes, as well as a hairdresser without forgetting stylist or needlewoman. I learnt all this, and I became a better person, maybe not for everybody, but for the need of my daughter, for her happiness I learnt all this. I made mistakes, I have probably said one or two word which were not necessary, I have probably given a bath a little too much late; I have probably given a little too many candies. But I have never regretted having made this learning.

I like doing things right, I am organized, I like lists, I like when everything is ready for the minute. Otherwise I do not feel good and I am not in a good mood. When I knew that we were going to become parents, I read all the books. I read, I absorbed all the information " How to be a good parent ? " " How satisfy the needs of your child? " " What's to be done when your child is sick ". What books do not say to you Sir it is how to manage tears, how to manage the quarrels, how to manage the rejection. You can look for in the books but it is never written.

If we follow the general opinion we have to love our child more than anything, I think that it is not true. I think that a parent can hate his child. But we hate him because we love him. Paradoxal. Let me explain you.

My daughter has a bit of temper. If we did not know all that we know, I would say that it comes from me. She was ten years old; she was the most kind, polite, helpful little girl. I think that this day there, she had decided to irritate us, or to test us. Your Honor, my daughter persuaded her teacher which had just arrived, that she was a boy and that her parents forced her to get dressed as girl. When I think about it, this memory makes me laugh, but you can believe me I did not laugh at the moment, to have to prove to the teacher that your daughter is a girl for real, to prove her also that you are not a horrible parent doubled by a mentally retarded person, the whole thing when your daughter laughs in the back of the professor, sorry to say it, but I wanted to kill her. To choke her with my hands, to flood her, I thought of all this things sir.

If that makes of me a bad parent, no that makes of me a very good parent. It has been three weeks Your Honor since I saw my daughter, since I did not held my daughter in my arms, three weeks since I spoke to her. Because a person saw fit to say to the police that my daughter was not raised in a stable environment. Let me enlighten you about certain things.

I know my wife since I am thirteen years old. We are in couple since we are eighteen years old. Married to twenty three, parents at twenty five. I believe that we cannot make better, I love my wife your Honor, and God knows if she loves me too. I do not want to boast, but you know me I am one of the best lawyers of the city, whereas my wife is The dance teacher that everybody wants. I do not see then where the unstable environment is.

I do not see in what the fact of being two women makes of our family an unstable environment. Probably the fact that at the house there are more tampons than another family, the bras sprinkles the ground, maybe also makes the toilet seat always remain lowered. Which reason is the good one?

I miss her Sir, three weeks it is far too much long. Before all this arrive, I had never felt the need to adopt, because my daughter is my daughter and you can say what you want it is like that. But I understand now, I do not want to be separated from her. If I have to fight to adopt her very well I'll do it.

I will fight for her till the end your Honor, if I have to tell you my life, very well. I plan to prove you that my daughter is the happiest. Come out for example that one month ago I left my work early, without thinking even of the consequences because I received a message from my daughter who said to me that she needed me. I spent the evening lying next to her because her boyfriend had just broken up with her, and when I said that to my boss he just laughed at me and threatened to fire me. But it is not important; because Grace needed me it was the most important.

I can tell to you also when my wife came back from Spain, there where she was on tour with her troop because Grace was sick and because I needed to take her to the hospital. Or another time when we missed the plane to return at home because our daughter had forgotten Frank in the boot of the delivery car. Another time or Grace wanted to sleep without Frank or this horrible thing that she dares to call pacifier, but that she ended her night in our bed and that nor I or my wife managed to fall asleep because Grace knocks when she sleeps.

I can say to you also about sessions of psychotherapies, the hell to find a sport which makes Grace can evacuate all the aggressively which she had in her. All the bruises, the scratches that I had because she fought only against me. Grace likes me your Honor and I am on and sure there, but I was always the mean guy.

I think that what I try to say here, it is that my wife and I are ready to give our life for Grace, whatever happened, she past first, always. I am a lawyer and I would have been able to make, here, a lot of people testify, but I did not make it, because I think that only our opinion counts.

The most revolting in this story, it is that people still think that to love someone of the same sex is something unhealthy, something horrible. I had difficulty in be accepted; I have of to work hard to be there where I am now. I hid during many years and I am not ready to do it again today because an old woman has decide that she was against it .

Whatever you decide this evening your Honor, nothing will change what there is in my heart, place of Grace in my heart. And I believe that you understood it. My work here is done, I leave you with your deliberation.


End file.
